Let’s get this lame thing started!

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Me and the Prez

Me and the Prez

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

Hard to believe it’s been four years since the paparazzi carelessly snapped this pic of me and the Prez at the 2009 inaugural in DC! I was relieved that such a steamy, suggestive display was never published during his first term. I’d hate to be Obama’s Monica, not mention the heartache for Michelle and those adorable girls.

And by the way, he never called.

I’m sure you’re as excited as I am for this crippled bird to bring some real change this time around. How exciting that Obama in his last four years can now stand up for all those unpopular, lonely, fringe people like the homos!

From a strictly personal standpoint, I have my fingers crossed that he’ll make traveling easier by lifting the ban on aerosols in carry-on bags. Not having my AquaNet at my side is murder on my bouffant, especially when I fall asleep leaning against the window.

The other day during a Greyhound layover in Akron, OH, my hair was so flat, I had to pin a dozen carnations to the left side just to look halfway normal.

Whatever happens, I’m going to make it a great year with my new show “Sweet & Sour Richfield,” which will be unveiled on the Atlantis Events Independence of the Seas cruise in February!

XO and one for Jesus, Miss R

New Year’s balls are dropping!

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Dropping a ball or two for New Year's!

Drop a ball or two for New Year’s!

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

I can’t believe it’s almost time for the end of the world! Yikes, I better make a hair appointment, pronto!

But just in case those Mayans are a little late with their Mexican calendar, I’m making New Year’s plans. I still have a trailer payment, not to mention that darn electric I hope to get re-connected by February!

So I’ll be hopping on the Greyhound and heading east, to see my dear friends in Rehoboth Beach, DE! Those folks survived the Sandy storm and now they’re celebrating with my show, and a post-Xmas dinner at the fabulous Blue Moon! The atrium is always gorgeous this time of year. Although I miss the old canvass roof and the occasional indoor monsoon! Maybe I’ll ask them to open the glass hood for old time sake!

And while I’m on the East Coast, I’m also motoring up to Provincetown, MA, where I’ll be at the Crown and Anchor for Saturday and Sunday of New Year’s weekend. I know the folks up there will be surprised to see me zipping down Commercial Street on my scooter at this time of year, particularly when I put the chains on the wheels.

Hope I see you all at one of these two locations. And a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanukah, a Get Down Kwanzaa, and, of course, a completely covered Ramadan!

XO, and one for Jesus,
Miss R

Celebrate Early! We’ll All Be Dead By Xmas!

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Arts and crafts will be featured again this year!

Arts and crafts will be featured again this year!

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

It’s time again for me to head home and celebrate the holidays with “2012: We’ll All Be Dead By Christmas!” This fabulous production celebrates the end of the world and my 13th or 14th year at the Illusion Theater in Minneapolis. Time flies and I can’t remember how many years it’s been, but it’s always my favorite time of year!

My all-new extravaganza guarantees to celebrate the horror of the end times with uplifting musical numbers, colorful video productions, and a healthy heap of audience interaction. You won’t want to miss this festive approach to the impending Armageddon!

There’s only 11 shows this year! So make sure and buy tickets immediately because you know what happens after that – kaboom!

Get tickets now!

Heading Out to Sea!

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Goodbye Third World!

Goodbye Third World!

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

How is it possible that I must again leave Richfield, Minn?!? I just got off the Greyhound from my hugely successful summer tour of Ptown and other wonderful shows, most recently in Chicago. What fun to see so many friends and make new friends all summer and even into the early days of autumn.

So just as I got home and poured myself a warm cup of Sanka, I heard a knock at the door of my trailer. It was a few gals from my church, a member of our trailer park council, and most of my family welcoming me home and waving another bus ticket in the air.

“Go!” they all said, “Just go!”

It’s hard to believe the support I get from these good Midwestern folks. They all believe in my ministry of beauty and consider my time better spent on the road with an all-expense-paid bus ticket, one-way to anywhere!

Fortunately this time my tour takes me to cities that are close and in the same area of the country. So over the next few weeks I’ll be in:
Santa Fe on Oct. 26!
San Francisco on Oct. 27!
Atlantis Events cruise out of LA on Oct. 28-Nov. 3!
And ending with Atlantis Events in Puerto Vallarta on Nov 4-10!

That will go quickly! And I especially love a tour that ends in the Third World, as it makes me so homesick for Richfield!

XO and one for Jesus!
Miss R

Time to get to class & stand up!

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Ben Cohen and me, standing up!

Ben Cohen and me, standing up!

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

I can’t believe it’s back-to-school time already! But it is clear to see that summer is coming to a close, as I head out to perform my quality program in the darkness of the evening with the cool autumn breeze gently moving the hair on my shoulders.

I should cover those bare shoulders, but my figure-flattering, multicolored stretchy bodysuit is a sight I feel obligated to share with the public even in the cooler temps.

I’ve always loved the fall, since the time I was a little girl in Richfield, Minn. I’ll never forget that first day of kindergarten as I headed out the door with my hair teased to Jesus in a perfect bouffant, fresh lipstick and my purse exactly matching my shiny red patent leather Mary Janes! Oh, to be 5 years old again!

Even as a child, I knew my future was in beauty and I had a standard to uphold. Unfortunately some of the other children didn’t understand the importance of outward beauty and occasionally poked fun at my coordinated outfits, carefully crafted hair and subtle cosmetics.

Ever since those days in kindergarten, I’ve committed myself to help other attractive children who find themselves at the hands of unkind words.

And now I’ve discovered other people doing the same thing, as I helped Ben Cohen raise money for his Stand Up Foundation! Ben and his gang are working to remind the kids not to bully! Let’s all help out by being nice to each other by our actions and our words, so the children learn by our example.

Even the unattractive ones!

XO and one for Jesus, Miss R

 

Celebrating with celebs in Ptown!

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Joshua McKinley from Project Runway!

Joshua McKinley from Project Runway!

 

Hi-dee-ho to all my darling prairie dogs!

Celebs continue to riddle my summer in Ptown! Perhaps it’s a weird, psychic pull that famous folks feel as they draw near me – and always man celebs! I’m sure there are several famous women in town, but strangely I never seem to bump into them!

Even with the excitement, I have very little time to do much more than take a quick photo, as I’m so active with my new show, “2012: We’ll All Be Dead By Christmas.” I think people are looking for a more positive, joyful approach to the impending Armageddon.

Mr. YouTube Davey Wavey!

Mr. YouTube Davey Wavey!

As you can see by my snaps, I had Project Runway Finalist Joshua McKinley at my show. Then comes along my YouTube buddy, Davey Wavey! Both so handsome and both at the same show on the same night! What an honor for me and my fans!

There’s still 5 weeks left of the summer. So don’t be a stranger! Join all the celebrities, the homos and many other strange people on the tip of Cape Cod!

XO and one for Jesus,

Miss R

Sunshine, lollipops & rainbows!

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Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

Provincetown, MA, gets more magical all the time! Just the other day I peered outside in despair at the clouds and rain, wishing it were sunny for my daily scoot down Commercial St. That’s when I invite average folks to my professionally produced, overly rehearsed, tightly scripted program, “2012: We’ll All Be Dead By Christmas!”

I no sooner stepped out the door when I looked up to discover not just one rainbow, but a double rainbow. Does it get more homo than that?!?

Of course not!

And even more fortunate – I was wearing my favorite pantsuit that evening. I adore the print and fit of this fashionable, 100% polyester, flame-retardant ensemble. For many years it was once just a sofa cover! Then after a brief and negative attack from my puss, it is now one of my favorite covers.

I hope all of you are planning on seeing me in Provincetown this summer. I’ll be here two weeks after Labor Day, into Mid-September in the Paramount at the Crown and Anchor. Watch for me out on the streets. Serves me right! I never learned to type!

XO and one to Jesus,

Miss R