Outrunning the Apocalypse via Greyhound

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Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

My new show, “2012: We’ll All Be Dead By Christmas” is again taking me on the road – heading East – I think! I’m writing to you from the front booth of a very nice Church’s Fried Chicken in Gary, Indiana. Wow, you can smoke anywhere, so it really feels like home!

When my leisure time permits, I will definitely be returning to Gary and popping into the visitor’s center at Chevron Petroleum near the railroad tracks. I hope I remember to bring a couple mayonnaise jars since everybody gets a free gallon of unleaded gas or a pint of 5W-30 after the tour.

But that won’t be anytime soon, as I’m traveling with my extremely successful career and a steady stream one-way bus tickets from the Esther Circle, a women’s group of my home congregation, A Mighty Fortress Is Our God Lutheran Church in Richfield.

Currently I am motoring to that godless mecca of New York City. For those of you not familiar to New York, it is a place with a lot of coming and going! Goodness it is hectic, so ensure that you plan ahead! I secured a room reservation at the Manhattan Mini-Storage. I realize that it’s not as nice as the Howard Johnson’s, but it’s such a good deal since your first month is free!

New York also can be a very challenging place to operate, as many actors get stuck in one theater, particularly in the 42nd Street area. With this in mind, I have secured 2 different cabarets at 2 different times and 2 different locations. Spreading yourself around makes a girl feel so much more popular!

Mark your calendars for XL at 8 pm Monday, April 16, and Joe’s Pub at 9:30 pm Friday, May 11. Please be punctual, as each run will be one-day, which means opening and closing night will be the same evening.

I can hear the bus horn now, so I’m going to have to grab my chicken, use the potty and run! I’ll be in touch!

XO and one for Jesus,

Miss Richfield 1981

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